Calming Zen

I met myself tonight. In a Chinese restaurant, while eating Mongolian Beef alone. I heard a voice in my head that asked me a profound question: "Can you love all the people in this restaurant?" It took me no time at all to decide that yes, I could. And I did. Then I asked the voice a question in return: "Who are you?" "I am," was the only reply. I was stunned to silence. I sat observing everything around me, tasting the textures on my tongue. Here I was, having an extraordinary experience in an ordinary place. I marveled at the texture of the empty vinyl seat across from me, the magic that made it possible for electric lights to illuminate the room, the smiles and frowns on the faces around me. I sat in wonder as I moved my fingers, watching them with reverence and awe. I felt supported. Loved. Whole. Totally at peace. I felt no time pressure, though I had places to be. I knew the universe would guide me. I felt as if I would never again have...

I am officially announcing my retirement. I am retiring from the life of misery I have lived. Retiring from chasing happiness. Retiring from the need for things to be a certain way. Retiring from suffering. A life spent searching for a missing ingredient or missing piece is no life at all. I am already complete. I have what I need. Peace doesn't come from somewhere "out there". It comes from within. It is obscured by negativity and suffering at times, but it gets easier to reach with practice. The process of peeling back layers until the bright core beneath is revealed isn't a simple one, but it is infinitely rewarding. I want to be in the world but not of it. I have suffered enough. I can learn to find peace in the midst of my current circumstances. There is no external change that will bring it to me. There is only a choice, and I can make it. Once made, there is no external force that can take it from me. I am excited for my new, retired life. I surrender my...